SAA UPDATE
Finally we have had some volunteers to attend NAA and AVADSC meetings on behalf of the Association.  My thanks to Peter Chegwiggen, Nigel Irvine and Bob Milne for offering to step in an fill the gap.  It is hard to get anyone interested in 'serving' their mates by volunteering for Committees etc, it is always the same old hands at the pumps.  This is the cause of 'burn out' with some committees.  The lack of nominations for our Executive at the coming AGM is a concern. 

It is the same with Meetings, some Branches have no regular meetings scheduled because "Noone comes", a poor excuse I know. How can people attend if there is no program.  Branches that are successful at getting people to attend meetings and functions because they communicate with and encourage their members to attend.  With persistence come success. Without communication comes failure.

Another concern is the number of Members that have yet to pay their subscriptions for 2010, a lousy $10. The response to this request has been dismal, why we bother has got me stuffed! 10% of our Members have yet to pay. The time spent chasing people up is surprising, I don't know about our Treasurer, but I have better things to do with my time.

Time to get off my high horse, I hope that you all have an enjoyable ANZAC Day, please try and march with the Association in your area.

Norm Williams
Secretary
0419 863 558

North Queensland BRANCH NEWS
The North Queensland Branch of the SAA will march this Anzac Day under the SAA banner in Townsville. Muster times and location will be advised when confirmed.  There will be a meeting of the branch at 1400 on Saturday 24th April, prior to Anzac Day. This meeting will be held in the Legacy Offices, behind the Townsville RSL at Quinn's Post. Members will retire to the RSL for socialising and dining afterwards.

The branch said goodbye to Shorty Needham at a moving ceremony at the Woongarra Crematorium last Friday 26 March. A large crowd attended of approximately 140 people, which filled the chapel, both seated and standing. The service was conducted by Susan Schmidt, a Civil Celebrant. Most who attended the service, attended the wake following, that was held at Shorty's old local, The Kirwan Tavern.

Garth Schmidt
Secretary, NQSAA.

AROUND THE TRAPS
 
For a change I'd like to share some good news (this year) about the Collins Class as Andy Keay reports. "No doubt most of the members will remember the press reports early this year regarding a generator failure on one of the Collins boats, what the press has no interest in reporting is that in a joint effort between Collins SPO/ASC and a local WA company - Hoffmans Engineering, we are well on the way to having both generators repaired and the submarine once again available for sea service. It's been a really interesting job especially the generator cycle around the MGR circus. The ASC riggers have been top notch blokes getting the port gen over into the mid gens position while moving mid back into ports position, something like that joke about the army moving sandhills around!"

Andy continued "This has then been followed by a bunch of Tiffy types doing a load of careful machining so that we can get the actual burnt out electrical bits out of he submarine and off for repair. All being well the return path shouldn't be too much of a struggle. I'm sure that as a Chief Stoker you well remember the times the greenies had to get the armature out of the engine room hatch, no doubt with the aide of your expert advice and encouragement, if not actual physical help!  Anyway the attached photos should gladden the hearts of many a Chief SAP and POLTO and goes to show that not all of us young blokes have lost the art of generator jobs."

And good luck and a welcome to the real world to WO Len 'Dac Dac' Carr who has paid off after 31yrs service and congratulations to Mark 'Blu' Layton whoi was promoted to WO on the 15th March and has taken on Len's role.

POMT(E)SM Gordon "Kaffa" Anderson can be excused for rambling on like a TI, he has been back in skimmers for a few year now. He's email read "Hello my friendly CPO Stoker and former AMS Beastie, hopefully life is treating you better now than in the recent past; I'd heard you haven't been in the best of health so I pray the treatment etc is getting you back on your toes and letting you chase the chooks with Boof." 

Kaffa continued "I want to thank you for letting me know about the loss of Paul Green. He will be remembered fondly as having once been a DLG myself.  Paul always kept the humour going no matter how down things got. He leaves me with a lot of good memories, and maybe one day we'll catch up again. They say you go to Heaven to have a vacation and you go to Hell to be with your mates; I know where Paul would want to be.   I've also passed this sad news on to JJ Bonney and Steve Streat who are also onboard HMAS Anzac with me. JJ is the Ship's Warrant Officer and Streaty is I/C of ME04; me I'm I/C of ME03. On a lighter note, Streaty and I are getting these pukes around to our way of doing things and we have got the ME Department referring to us as The Wrecker and The POLTO!"   Another submariner making his mark in the grey funnel line!

Garry Coombe wrote "Like many ex-servicemen I forwarded a letter to my local MP, Steve Irons, with regard to the inequities in service pensions. Receiving no reply I sent him a bit of a rocket, which also went unanswered. When I saw his picture in the morning newspaper bleating about some trivial blight on his life I contacted the newspaper, who in turn contacted Irons." Garry attached the article from the paper and the accompanying cartoon.

A Member asked "Do you know of any members who have had a claim with DVA for degraded vision due to submarine service from red/ black lighting and been successful?  I have a claim in which in principle has been supported but not fully approved, i.e. my case officer needs more supporting information. I have used the occupational hygiene report and are trying to get an optometrist or ophthalmologist to support. Can anyone help, if so let me know.

Laurie and Tom Johnston will be away at sea from 3rd April till 6th May, passage routine all the way. But they will be back for SUBCON.  It is amazing how much sea time some of our retired submariners get up after paying off, a lot more than when they were in boats.

Skimmer, Lofty Greig, is organising the Annual ASW Senior Sailor's Re-union again this year and to ensure that it will be a success he has invited the submariners along again. This year's reunion will be held in Ballina NSW on the weekend of August 6, 7 and 8. Lofty said "I have had a few submariners attend over the last 2 years and had no trouble from them (Mr. Hosie included). My contact details now are greigbruce@gmail.com or 02 62885875. Cost for all events is $120.00 for a couple."

Rod and Pat Peters are doing the grand parent thing again while the kids go off on another cruise to the Pacific Islands. Rod said "We will be away until the 27th of April then home for a week then a week at Lakes entrance in Victoria for a week to get over the baby sitting."  They say grandkids keep you young?

Obituary - The Honourable Phillip George Evatt DSC RANVR (Rtd)
The Honourable Phillip George Evatt DSC RANVR (Rtd) passed away on Sunday 20 March at the Macquarie Care Centre, Bathurst, NSW.

Phillip joined the RAN as a 'Hostilities Only' Volunteer Reserve. He reported to HMAS Cerberus on the Yachtsman's Scheme on 4 November 1940 as an Ordinary Seaman. On completion of his initial training he joined HMA Anti-Submarine School at Rushcutters Bay in NSW to undertake a sonar training course as a Sub Lieutenant.

On completion of his training, Phillip and his other class-mates boarded ship and sailed to England to work with the Royal Navy. While in UK, Phillip volunteered for Submarines where he undertook training in HMS Forth. On completion of his initial submarine training, he was sent to Malta in December 1942 to join spare crew in the 10th Flotilla.

In early January 1943 he joined HMS/m Unbroken under the command of Lieutenant A.C.G. Mars, the boat left Malta on the 16th to patrol in the Gulf of Qabes, covering the retreat of Rommel's forces from Tripoli. Several days later a ship of 5,000 tons was seen approaching with an escort of two torpedo boats. Four torpedoes were fired and one hit the Edda which sank in half an hour. Two days after the attack, Unbroken was recalled to Malta, Phillip rejoined spare crew.

In February, Phillip joined HMS/m United under the command of Lieutenant J.C.Y. Roxburgh. United was one of four submarines to be involved in operation “Husky” from 26 February to 10 March when she retuned to Malta.

On 23 March United was the first boat from the 10th Flotilla to operate in the Tyrrhenian Sea under the command of the 8th Flotilla. Other than encountering a convoy south west of Marittimo on the 31st she was forced to go deep by the escorts, this patrol was unproductive and returned to Malta on 2 April.

On 15 April United returned to sea to patrol off the coast of Calibri, although the area was thoroughly combed no targets were sighted and the boat returned to Malta on 27 April.

The next patrol was from 14 May in an area between Cape St. Vito and Palermo, Italy, after a fruitless patrol of missing targets with torpedoes and interception by E-boat activity, United returned to Malta on 26 May.

United left Malta on 9 June to patrol in an area round Cape Spartivento. On the 14th a 5,000-ton ship was sighted with a torpedo boat and aircraft escort. After gaining a suitable position, four torpedoes were fired, two hit the German liner Ringulo causing it to break up and sink, unfortunately an accurate counter-attack followed, however the boat escaped with 30 lights broken.
Two days later a German U-boat was sighted on an opposite course, unfortunately United could not manoeuvre into a suitable position to fire torpedoes and the U-boat escaped unharmed.  On the 20th the Italian liner Olbia of 3514-tons was sighted after two obliging zigs the liner was in a position to have four torpedoes fired at it, three were seen to hit and the liner sank within an hour. With no remaining torpedoes United was ordered back to Malta.

United returned to sea on 15 August to patrol in the Gulf of Taranto off Point Alice, with the attempt to intercept the minelaying by Italian cruisers and destroyers, this was a boring 10 day patrol where no targets were sighted and the boat returned to Malta, this was her last patrol before returning to England for a refit. Phillip left the boat in England in November 1943.

Phillip joined HMS Cyclopes for two months of January and February 1944 prior to being appointed First Lieutenant to the training boat HMS/m H32 in March 1944, his appointment lasted until September when the boat was decommissioned and sold on 18 October 1944.

In October 1944, Phillip was appointed the commissioning First Lieutenant in HMS/m Tapir, under the command of Lieutenant J.C.Y. Roxburgh, the boat was commissioned 30 December 1944.  After work up, Tapir left for its first war patrol in Home Waters off the west coast of Norway near Bergen. On 12 April the crew were warned by sonar the presence of a U-boat, U.486 surfaced some 3,000 yards (2,743.2 metres) away. A quick appreciation and a salvo of eight torpedoes were ordered (of which only six were actually fired). At 0753 and at 0755 the U-boat was hit and sunk with all hands. The German watchers on Hellisoy witnessed the attack as the three remaining torpedoes exploded on the rocks some 200 yards (182.88 metres) from the lighthouse.  Tapir left the patrol on 14 April to return to England, this was her first and last war patrol.

Phillip was awarded the Distinguish Service Cross, the London Gazette 19 June 1945 stated the award was for sinking U.486 off Bergen on 12 April 1945. The Cross was posted to Phillip.
The citation stated; “For exception skill, audacity and judgement whist service in HM Submarine Tapir. He trimmed the submarine during successful attack on a German U-boat in rough and difficult weather in which the U-486 was destroyed by a salvo of torpedoes off Ferjesen Fjord on 12 April 1945, and for efficiency of a very high order of training the crew and for generally high standard as an officer during thirteen war patrols.

Phillip left the boat in October 1945, as he was a Hostilities Only officer, Lieutenant P.G. Evatt DSC RANVR was demobbed and returned to Australia in May 1946.

Thanks to Peter Smith, SAA Historian.

Peter Nielsen warns us that Gonorrhea Lectim is coming back.  The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent  Strain of this old disease.  The disease is pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'im" and is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.  Many victims contracted it in 2008 ..... But now most people after having been infected for the past 1-2 years are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is. It's sad because it is so easily cured with a new procedure just coming on the market called Vo-tem-out!  You take the first dose/step in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again, otherwise it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.  Please pass this important message on to all those bright folk you really care about.

Les Rawson commented on my complaint about communications. "I know what you mean about communications.... I eventually cracked up and bought a laptop for my Fly In/Fly Out trips and dutifully bought a Telstra pre-paid modem. I got everything home and set it all up and rang Mumbai to get the modem activated......that was Saturday! The following Friday Telstra activated my service!"  He added "Anyway for readers who read the poem might like to read a VERY good novel called 'Send Down a Dove' which quotes the poem. Although it is a novel, there is a strong school of thought that that the central character was the author. The book if made into a film could very well be an English version of 'Das Boot' and tells a bloody good submarine story." I agree with Les, a good read.

John "Bungy" Williams just spent some time in the Mediterranean including Malta and he also spent some time in Israel and he sent photos of him at the Dakar Memorial in Haifa adding "I thought this might be of interest to any ex Totem submariners."

Special forces in Afghanistan had a dangerous, shallow river to cross and sent a request to Defence HQ for three punts and a canoe.   Back came the signal: John Faulkner, Alan Griffin and Peter Garrett arriving tomorrow. What is a ‘panoe’?

HEALTH AND WELFARE

The Right Mix: Your Health & Alcohol
In the lead up to Anzac Day, DVA has launched a health promotion campaign in selected local newspapers, encouraging veterans to visit The Right Mix website to identify and manage their level of drinking. Anzac Day is a time when many veterans catch up with mates, maybe have a drink or two and share their memories about service. Sometimes those occasions can lead to having a few more drinks than you mean to. So keep an eye on yourself, your mates and family members. If you or someone you know is struggling, you can always call the VVCS - Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service on 1800 011 046. It's free and confidential.

Coalition will not support Governance of Australian Government Superannuation Schemes Bill
The Coalition will not support the passage of the Governance of Australian Government Superannuation Schemes Bill 2010 through the House of Representatives in its current form, as it will disadvantage members of military superannuation schemes, the Shadow Minister for Defence Science, Personnel and Assisting Shadow Minister for Defence, Bob Baldwin, and the Shadow Minister for Veterans’ Affairs, Louise Markus, have confirmed.

‘We have listened to current Australian Defence Force members, veterans, ex-service people and ex-service organisations. After careful consideration we have concluded that the amalgamation of all civilian and military Commonwealth superannuation boards will have a negative effect on the future administration of military superannuation schemes,’ Mr Baldwin said.

Military members and their families are subjected to unique working and living conditions which often include exposure to physical danger for the serving member and the constant burden of relocations for the member’s family,’ Mrs Markus said.
‘Simply put, this Bill fails to recognise the unique nature of military service and the proposed Commonwealth Superannuation Corporation (CSC) will not function in the best interests of military members.’

Mr Baldwin and Mrs Markus said the composition of the proposed CSC board was also of considerable concern.  ‘The Coalition does not support the inclusion of three trade unionists onto a board managing military superannuation. Furthermore, it is not appropriate that the Minister for Finance and Deregulation require approval from the President of the ACTU to dismiss ACTU appointed directors for such reasons as misbehaviour, bankruptcy or insolvency.’

Mr Baldwin said that he has raised the Coalition’s concerns directly with the Minister for Finance and Deregulation and discussed alternatives to the current proposed legislation including the introduction of separate civilian and military boards.
‘Such a construct would help ensure that a military member’s service is duly recognised and their interests safeguarded while creating the potential for additional financial gains through the amalgamation of all civilian and military investment funds.’

An elderly Coxswain and his wife were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the Black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the Penis to 24 inches.  Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, His wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African String-and-weight procedure?"  The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.  A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?"  "Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black."

DEFENCE UPDATE

Restructure will cost jobs, ASC
A restructure at leading Australian submarine and shipbuilder ASC will cost jobs, the company says. Responsible for Collins class submarines and the Hobart class air warfare destroyer warships, ASC on Saturday announced a major restructure to bring together its business divisions. The move is designed to centralise the corporate functions of the company's submarine and shipbuilding arms.

ASC chief executive Steve Ludlam said the restructure would save money and maximise workplace efficiency. "We need to deliver value for money to our customers and to the taxpayer, and this restructure is all about ensuring that happens," he said in a statement.

ASC employs more than 1600 staff in South Australia and Western Australia, including 280 engineering and technical specialists. They were told of the plans on Friday afternoon, with Mr Ludlam admitting some of their jobs would be affected "where overlap currently exists" between the submarine and shipbuilding divisions.

Exactly how many jobs will be lost is not yet known.

Mr Ludlam said he decided to restructure the company after reviewing ASC's business operations earlier this year. "This is a critical time for ASC with the shipbuilding division moving into the construction phase," he said.  "The time is right to realise operational gains from bringing the two divisions together to ensure ASC is operating at world's best practice."

Yes to Women, No to Smoking on Submarines
On February 22, US Defense Secretary Robert Gates delivered a letter to Congress, notifying it of the Navy’s desire to permit women to serve aboard its submarines.  The House and Senate had 30 working days to pass a law barring the move. Congress only has a “few more days” to reject the changed policy, “otherwise women will be serving beneath the sea within two years.”

Already in September of last year, top Navy brass, including Navy Secretary Ray Mabus and Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Gary Roughead, came out in strong support for the policy change. At that time, Mabus said, “I believe women should have every opportunity to serve at sea, and that includes aboard submarines.” Joint Chiefs Chairman Adm. Mike Mullen has also expressed his support: “One policy I would like to see changed is the one banning their service aboard submarines.”

And it does look like - barring unforeseen developments - that Congress will approve the new policy.  The Navy is already studying how it plans to implement the change. The study will probably be completed later this month.

However, one change - whether related to women serving in submarines or not - is already in the works. The Navy was considering a ban on smoking aboard submarines, in order to help clear the recycled air for crews who spend months at a time aboard submerged vessels, that change is official now.

Last Thursday, the Navy announced that a smoking ban will go into effect on submarines no later than December 31. Vice Adm. John J. Donnelly, commander of Submarine Forces in Norfolk, Va., said in a press release that the decision was reached to protect non-smoking sailors from secondhand smoke.

A retired admiral and a former undersea medical officer, Rear Adm. Hugh Scott, is warning Congress about his “serious concerns about the risk to the safety and normal development of an embryo-fetus in the submarine environment…”  According to Adm. Scott, a certain percentage of female sailors embark on deployments pregnant or become pregnant during the cruise, and “Unlike surface ships, the sealed environment of the submarine atmosphere poses an increased risk to the normal development of a woman’s embryo-fetus.”

Studies, investigations and physical changes - possibly interior modifications - aboard the submarines need to be completed fast because the first female submariners - all of them officers - could be those women who will be “graduating this spring from the Naval Academy and college ROTC programs,” after an additional 18 months of training.

They’d start out on Ohio-class subs…because the boats wouldn’t need to be modified. There’d be a minimum of four women per sub. A senior female officer would probably transfer from the surface nuclear fleet to mentor the young officers, Mabus said. It’s been 20 years since women began serving on surface ships, and the experience can be a road map for a smooth transition.

Women would join smaller attack subs later. Existing ones would be modified for them, and new ones would be designed for coed crews.

From Blogs
Even news anchor Steve Inskeep, in reporting the story on National Public Radio's "Morning Edition," sounded a bit incredulous.  "It's hard to believe it took until 2010 to figure this out, but the Navy has decided it's a problem if you smoke on a submarine," Inskeep began his report, before citing the government's new studies proving the health risks of second-hand smoke on subs.

Indeed, people posting to news stories about the smoking ban that appeared around the world reacted with a mixture of surprise and humor. Some suggested crew members could just step outside to light up. Others worried, now that women will soon be on board, about sailors missing out on a post-coital smoke.

A few wondered: Will commanders now order more trips to the surface?

The Navy said it plans to provide programs to help sailors quit and will lay in a lot of nicotine patches and gum for future deployments. Still, with official estimates putting the number of submariners who smoke at 40 percent of the service, you have to wonder how well a boatload of detoxing sailors are going to get along.

To get a little perspective on what to expect I poked around in the news archives and found some reporting on a 1960 experimental smoking ban aboard the submarine Triton.  The Triton left New London in Feb. 16, 1960, on what was supposed to be its shakedown cruise but which turned out instead to be a surprise and unprecedented underwater circumnavigation, lasting until April 25.

The Navy put medical researchers on board to learn a little more about the physical and psychological effects of spending such a long time under water in close quarters. The research included a smoking ban that was supposed to be 10 days long, but ended after just three, when the crew started to get a bit more than cranky.

Of course the decision to abort the study early might have been influenced by the fact that the doctor in charge was also a smoker. A good account of the smoking ban experiment comes from the submarine's captain, Edward L. Beach Jr., who went on to write an entertaining account of the trip in his 1962 book, "Around the World Submerged: The Voyage of the Triton."

Beach, who also wrote the classic World War II submarine novel "Run Silent, Run Deep," exhibits a wry sense of humor in describing his crew's "sufferings." Beach, too, was a smoker. "Everyone on board was determined to go through with the test in good heart and spirit, but as the dread day for putting out the smoking lamp approached, various reactions were noticeable among crew members," Beach wrote. "The nonsmokers were lording it over the others, and there was an aura of apprehension among the habitual smokers."

The Triton, he noted, had laid in a good supply of candy and chewing gum. Not long after the test began, Beach said, "overt feelings of hostility" began surfacing and there were also "signs of forced gaiety, with an edge to it."

On April 18, after only three days of deprivation, Beach relit the smoking light himself, by strolling the ship with a lit cigar, blowing smoke into crew members' faces, and asking, "Don't you wish you could do this?" "It took some 37 seconds for word to get around," Beach said, and the Triton was once again a smoking submarine.

The doctor in charge of the 1960 experiment reported three years later to a convention of the Cigar Institute of America, according to The New York Times, that the sailors didn't like having their tobacco taken away. "When a smoker is forbidden to smoke he just doesn't like it," the doctor reported. "The smokers in the test got irritable, ate too much, had trouble sleeping, and personal relationships began to deteriorate."

Even back then, it seems, the Navy depended on extensive medical research to uncover the obvious.  This is the opinion of David Collins.

Sunday, 11^th April 2010

Late again, but at least I managed to get something online, a million email to catch up with......

Spent more time in Brisbane again this week, was supposed to be in hospital overnight for another biopsy but even the best plans can fall apart and my stay was a little longer.  Things are looking better and I will have the results later this week.

Communications have been a problem, had limited access to email in hospital and managed to answer a few important ones, but just browsed through the rest.  I arrived home on Friday to discover that Telstra had struck again and the lines were out of action till Monday so when communications was restored I was inundated with email.  I had not answered the previous weeks, so a lot to catch up on.

Thanks to all that have written and rang, I appreciate your concern.  However, just because I miss a Log entry or two is no reason to start planning my funeral.

Niggs is still growing and nearly knocked me over when I got home.  I was pleased to see that Lucky (the chook) was still alive although his tail feathers look pretty ragged where she had been carried around by the tail.  Niggs likes to play.

I have another submariner in the area, CMDR John "Taff" Davis has been prised from his desk at the submarine school.  He has bought a property just outside Gympie.  He joins Nigel Dunchue and John Head as "neighbours".  I am looking forward to catching up with Taff and Jan, shown here in their 'skiing' van. I hope he likes snakes!

Love you all.......

SAA NEWS
I sometimes wonder if it is worth the effort of our Committees, it is disappointing to receive email such as this one. "Sorry that I haven't sent any social activity details to you but the difficulty here is getting enough people to attend any functions."  Come on guys, support your Committees and try and attend at least one meeting or function a year, they are trying to keep the spirit alive.

VICTORIAN BRANCH
Please note:  The Victoria Branch Social Meeting scheduled for Sunday 18th April has been cancelled due to the proximity of Anzac Day this year.  Our apologies to any member inconvenienced by this but we would rather have a good roll-up on Sunday the 25th at 0830 in front of Federation Square on Flinders Street. Step off will be approx. 0900 and we will meet at the ESU on completion of the march.  Again, apologies if any member is inconvenienced by this.

Keith J. Hatfield
Secretary

SOUTH AUSTRALIAN BRANCH
We have been allocated a new start point for the march. Muster on the East side of Pultney Street, between North Terrace and Rundle Street. We are still behind the birdie contingent, we have about 200 yards more to march.

Ken Grierson
Treasurer

CONGRATULATIONS - AWARD OF SUBMARINE QUALIFICATION
ABMTSM S. Armtage HMAS Waller
LSCKSM J. Brook HMAS Waller
ABCKSM R. Butterly HMAS Dechaineux
SMNAWASM J. Richardson HMAS Dechaineux

AROUND THE TRAPS

New SAA Member, ex Korporaal Machinist Johannes Jacobus Van Buuren from Wynnum in Queensland, on the 100 year anniversary of Dutch submarines, carried a letter from CAPT Bill Owen RAN to present to Commanding Officer, Dutch Submarines.  CAPT Bill was Naval Officer Commanding Queensland Area at the time.  John immigrated to Australia in 1960 and worked with Howard Smith for 23 years where he was known as "Johnny Clogs and "Pumps" to workmates.  While living in Bundaberg John was a member of the Naval Coastwatching Organisation and an active member of the Naval Reserve Cadets (LEUT) and TS Bundaberg.

Bob Emery (for SAOC West) advises that the Submariners Association of Canada West on-line newsletter "Scuttlebutt" has been updated and  is available for your perusal ...

Anatol Dangel from Lochinvar NSW, in a reflective mood, wrote "I remember a ditty we used to have no board HMS Astute when I was doing my part 3 training in the U.K. it went something like this."

Lord up above send down a Dove
With wings as sharp as Razors
To cut the throats of all the blokes
That serve bad beer to sailors

Some people never stop complaining...... In an email I received from WA Branch VP CPOCISSM Darren Thompson he said "As you can see no rest for the wicked, I was awoken at 6am with signal traffic. Lucky me." Darren, 0600 is NOT early, you should be up by then!!! However, this reminded me of the nights when, as Duty Officer, I would get a shake and have some snotty nosed RO stick a signal in front of me and not having a clue what it meant, would nod wisely and then tell him to go away, it could wait till morning.  Lucky WW3 did not break out during my watch!

Darren also noted "We currently have a CPO RN Submariner (Steve Irvine) over on Long Look and I have been giving him a rub round on the local watering holes. Alex Morris has him house sitting over Easter and there are more offers in the wind so he isn't being stuck on the Island which is good." Another excuse for socials............

In an earlier email Darren had a request "Following a request from CMDRE Larry Hickey, Canada's current senior submariner, who is conducting research in advance of a Canadian Military Historical Conference later this year, could you be so kind as to place the following email and picture on the web and ask people if they have the answers to please contact me with the info. The first Submariner in the front row of the picture we know is Tas Kousoukis and we have asked him for the names of the others."  Can you help, if so contact Darren? To view photo full size click on it.

On seeing that Geoffrey "Nosmo" King had become a Member of the SAA he rummaged through his things and sent me some photos, some of which I publish today, the rest next week as I am out of time tonight.  It includes some mates that are no longer with us, but shows them as we remembered them, full of life.

Noel Felsch, Tim Shannon & Shorty Needham	Nosmo King, Salty Saltmarsh & Bubbles Boyce	Darky Pember & Nosmo King

Ex CPO TASI Michael Charlton writes "I had a great time in boats and hope to meet some of the lads I served with who went to live in Australia." Michael lives in Spain with his wife Audrey and served on HMS Thermopylae, HMS Anchorite, HMS Amphion, HMS Repulse, HMS Renown and HMS Dreadnought.  Give him a thrill and send him an email, it can be in English, I believe that he can still speak it.

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And who said living in the tropics makes you crazy?  Michael Stanly sent the following news item from Cairns.

Cane toads on Cairns restaurant menu
A Cairns restaurant is pleading with the public for cane toads to help satisfy growing demand for a new menu item. In a new twist on its traditional European menu, Le Pranque’s restaurant is hoping to start serving customers cane toad crepes, complete with a mushroom and white wine sauce.

Head chef Jack Napier said the taste was "out of this world".  "I’ve been told cane toads have been hopping around Cairns for at least 50 years," Mr Napier said.   "I can’t believe no one’s ever thought of combining them in a tasty gourmet dish before."  Nearly 1410 toads were collected across Cairns at the weekend, including an 18.4cm specimen weighing 525g.

Mr Napier urged anyone with cane toads weighing more than 500g to bring them to his kitchen to receive a buy one, get one free coupon to be used at the restaurant before noon today.

Tony Lee has computer problems and writes "I can't respond to any emails today. Something has crashed on my computer……and the mouse is missing."

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Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.  Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican ," says Sister Helen . Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine. "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine.  She opens the window and shouts,  "Get off the f^^#@g windshield! "

Veterans' Affairs & HEALTH MATTERS
ANZACs and War Widows offered a free ride with Greyhound
Greyhound Australia will again honour the sacrifice of Australia’s war veterans and war widows by offering them FREE transport to Anzac celebrations on April 24, 25 (ANZAC DAY) and 26 across its entire network. This is the third year Greyhound Australia has offered the free service to assist veterans and war widows to attend Anzac Day commemoration ceremonies, share memories and catch up throughout Australia.

Chief Executive Officer Robert Thomas said Greyhound staff took great pride in showing their deep respect for the nation’s veterans and the war widows in this way. “This offer is for all Australian veterans no matter when they served or whether it was in Iraq, East Timor, Afghanistan, Korea, Malaya, Japan, the Pacific Islands, Africa or Europe,” Mr Thomas said.

“Greyhound Australia is 100% Australian-made and owned and it’s the nation’s oldest operating bus company. Our history is also tied into the history of this nation and the company had its own role during war. We helped transport troops and their families as they headed off to war. It’s an honour to be able to offer this free service as a small thank you to all those who did so much to protect our way of life.”

Mr Thomas said the free rides would help old diggers and war widows to reconnect for Anzac Day. “It doesn’t matter where a veteran resides, whether it’s Ballarat or Sydney. If you want to go to one of the 1100 destinations Greyhound services daily to attend a specific Anzac parade and meet up with old friends we will get you there for free,” he said.

Mr Thomas said it was with the support of the Returned and Services League of Australia (RSL) that Greyhound was able to undertake the huge logistical work needed to organise the Anzac Day special. “In order for veterans and war widows to receive their complementary travel Greyhound Australia has had to create a special process,” he said.

“To secure the free travel they must book via our National Call Centre on “1300 GREYHOUND” or 1300 47 39 46 and introduce themselves as a Veteran or a Veteran’s widow.”

GREYHOUND AUSTRALIA PTY LTD
PH: 07 3868 0926 FX: 07 3868 0930

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Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.  I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..'

The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer, and finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him $80 a week unemployment pay.

Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.'  Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick $160 a week.

When Paddy found out he was furious and stormed back into the office to find out why his co-worker was collecting double his pay.  The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.'

'What skill?' yelled Paddy. 'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs,  then Mick puts 'em over his head and says, 'Yep, diesel fitter.'

DEFENCE NEWS

The US Navy to ban smoking on subs
The top United States naval officer has vowed to ban people lighting up in submarines, where the confined atmosphere has serious passive smoking implications, a report said.  "We are going to stop smoking on submarines," chief of naval operations Admiral Gary Roughead told a recent meeting of senior submariners, according to the Navy Times magazine.

Navy spokesman Lieutenant Commander Mark Jones confirmed a ban could be in the pipeline, saying: "We are currently looking at changing the policy but we have not changed the policy."  At present, smoking on US submarines is up to the commanding officer's discretion and there are designated areas on many vessels where the crew are allowed to smoke.

"That atmosphere moves around the submarine. You don't smell it but the damaging things from the smoke are still present," Admiral Roughead was quoted as saying.

A Pentagon study last year carried out by the American Institute of Medicine revealed that soldiers smoke a lot more on average than civilians and that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan had seen a spike in smoking.  The last official figures for the US military, in 2005, showed that 32 per cent of personnel in the armed forces smoke as opposed to 20 per cent of the American population as a whole.

Lieutenant Commander Jones said up to 40 per cent of US submariners smoke, making it all the more important to look into a ban for the overall health of sailors.

(I bet Roughead wishes he had changed his name)

Niggs, Let's nap!!!

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